Once you know you are being manipulated, you can determine your own reality more easily.Someone who is gaslighting will try to make a targeted person doubt their perception of reality.The gaslighter may convince the target that their memories are wrong or that they are overreacting to an event.The abuser may then present their own thoughts and feelings as the real truth.
In the play, a womans husband tries to convince her that she is mentally unstable. He makes small changes in her environment, such as dimming the gaslights in their house. He then convinces his wife she is simply imagining these changes. His ultimate goal is to have her committed to an asylum so he can steal her inheritance. For example, if a person is telling a story, the abuser may challenge a small detail. The person may admit they were wrong on a detail, then move on. The next time, the abuser may use that past victory to discredit the person further, perhaps by questioning the persons memory. They may intuit something is wrong in the relationship or marriage. But because each gaslighting incident is so minor, they cant pinpoint any specific cause for their unease. Over time, the person may second-guess their own emotions and memories. They may rely on their abuser to tell them if their memory is correct of if their emotions are reasonable. The abuser uses this trust to gain control over their target. Yet people of any gender can gaslight others or be gaslit themselves. Gaslighting can also occur in platonic contexts such as a workplace. An abuser may deny the events occurred in the way the target (accurately) remembers. They may also invent details of the event that did not occur. An abuser may twist a conversation into an argument about the persons credibility. This technique can condition a person into believing their emotions are invalid or excessive. ![]() The abuser may then cut the conversation short, claiming the other person is out of control and too aggressive. In some cases, the abuser may accuse the other person of being the true gaslighter.
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